The rules to follow for a successful career in financial services

Do you have what it takes to succeed in financial services? Do you have diligence, intelligence, or the capacity to work hard? Well, good for you, but I’m afraid that my experience suggests you need none of those.

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As I argue in my new book “How to Con Friends and Manipulate People”, the most important traits are quite unrelated. What dictates your career is fearlessness/risk-taking, emotional detachment, self-confidence, charisma, scheming, blagging, and just the right amount of rule-bending. And it’s no coincidence that these are some of the qualities exhibited naturally by psychopaths.

I started my career in the City as an intern, and within eight years I was heading up the second-highest-ranked equity research team in London. Nearly all my colleagues and competitors worked harder than me but – and it pains me to admit this – my career strategy was more psychopathic. And these are those qualities that explain how two people of similar intelligence and diligence can earn vastly different amounts within a few years of entering the snake pit that is high finance:

Fearlessness/risk-taking: No-one remembers limp-wristed losers who make “hold” recommendations (currently a distressing 40% of calls) or follow the herd over the cliff. Sometimes tall poppies do get cut down, but you’re not being paid vast amounts to make up the numbers – so strap a pair on and stick your head above the parapet.

Emotional detachment: Anxiety and panic are your enemies whether you’re a fund manager whose key holdings are going down the toilet or an MD who must fire half of of his team. Fear is contagious, and extreme emotions lead to poor decisions. Always be – or at least appear to be – as calm as a German at the penalty spot.

Self-confidence: This obviously applies when you’re presenting to clients or colleagues, but you should also have enough self-belief to avoid group think. In 2001, my team declared that British Energy would go bankrupt, whilst nearly every other team in the City had it as a “Strong Buy”. The stock doubled in price over the next months, but we stuck to our guns. When our prediction came good a year later our clients never forgot… Mostly because we didn’t let them.

Charisma: The biggest advantage I had over the automatons at Citi, Goldman, etc. was that they had all the charm of Elon Musk on Mogadon. I knew how to turn clients into friends who would feel guilty about not giving me a substantial chunk of commission. These same folk voted for me in the external surveys, ensuring that head-hunters called me regularly, which in turn guaranteed my bosses didn’t dare skimp out when it came to bonus day.

Scheming: Everyone understands the value of stealing thunder, brown nosing, and trumpet blowing. But they generally fail to do it subtly, making their intentions obvious. I was a quiet master of office politics, riding the right coat tails and – most importantly – leaving my jacket over the chair to suggest I was still in the office long after I’d left for the swimming pool.

Blagging: Knowing when to lie in high pressure situations is something that comes naturally to psychopaths. Look to past prime ministers for guidance about how to exhibit no remorse when you’ve been found out (Liz Truss) and a total delusional belief that you can talk your way out of any tight spot (Boris Johnson).

Bending rules: If you think you want a serious City job, you need to get imaginative. Pad your CV until it bursts. Adapt your social media posts to appear like you have the financial acumen of Warren Buffet and the work ethic of Elon Musk. Psychologically manipulate your interviewers so they feel like you’re interviewing them. 

And, most importantly: never forget that there is no “i” in team, there are five in “individual brilliance”.

Geraint Anderson is the author of “How to Con Friends and Manipulate People”, a parody corporate self-help book based on tried-and-tested real world guidance. It provides a blueprint for how to thrive in today’s brutal corporate environment. Pre-order it here: https://amzn.eu/d/00kEf4C7

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